reverting

​never seem to really be able to let you go
maybe it’s time I do no more
maybe it’s time I cut sensations
shivers to the bone
sever connections
spirit made of stone

you don’t want to hurt me
but I’m feeling your absence
sense it every day
I’m losing my

balance

how much more of a background heart beat can I be
when externally it’s only you that actually makes me feel happy

you think I’m going to find that same peace with a different man
that indefinite warmth inside your arms is something you can’t understand

I wish you loved me like you keep loving someone else
those days when it was my heart and soul you felt

I wish it was as easy for me to let go as it is for you to say those words
it carves up my heart into suffocating chokes

I try to keep you at arm’s length like you wanted but it’s so difficult to watch you love someone’s smile while you watch me fade broken-hearted.

It’s started.
The whole not being able to sleep.
Constant tears.
Emotions I can’t keep.
Tired eyes. That ease at your reflection.

But you’ll never wake up in my arms.
Part and parcel; dejection.

The invisible pain of all your words and a million recollections,
do you recall all the head on shoulder moments…

Maybe you’ve grown and I’ve stood still,
falling in love with memories that can never be made real.

ink is free, so...

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