Stranger thoughts overflowing craters, I feel your loss in reverberating pain, cycles converging with death wishes all over again, it will only stop when the walnut casket rocks, cradling aching muscles oh sweet child of mine, hush a bye baby don’t you cry, and with relief and trust we cut them, he falls gently into a perforated button, as I sit enfolding his hair behind his ears as he wipes away salt tears under the trellising leaves of our willow.
An arrow punctures my side, blood gushes black-red as my remaining sight sees only black and white. Swindling kindling, the fire is dwindling, charcoal ash coats my veins, roasting dry. I can’t see as I dip and duck shadowy embers, ducts dispose of emotion I can’t cry. I wear you on my wrist and you show me on your sleeve. Sullen in the quiet illumination of grief. I will never know a memory and I don’t even know why. The sky expels tears and I sit here and smile.
Wind sprays spectrums and I don’t even mind and. Thinking of you, wishing I could make it right. Dance in cold splashes, hold you tight. No rope. No noose. No axe. Just a couple of rhyming mimes. No room to manoeuvre, hallucinating reality taxed. Dived into your heart already, and I’m not coming back for air. I drown in you, you’re all I need and into your sea of wishes I stare.
I taste your shave, sweat and bones, tracing every sticky fingerprint, every impression made by you on my skin, each scar brushed with glittering skims, living to breathe and dying within, creeping on your soul creating sin, tinkling keys you’re not fooling me, arrested development in sun-setting quays, giddy with silliness stilling a stolen image of perfection freed.
You expunge, exasperate the essence of me, your indented notations whisk me into another dimension, I didn’t know I could have this peace, I dive on to purple knees, and wonder what could have been, you are my thoughts through only a screen, words flash by imminently, telling me to leave you be, drum, bass and melody, losing myself in a skirmishing dervish ghostly memory.
Shattering glass by the hands of me and my baseball bat unleashed scathing rage. My politics is heresy, your beliefs are heresay. Bloodstains. I will stay come what may. A revolution spin-off sonic boom, tazmanian devil on spiral zoom, little miss ballerina pirouhettes all wrong, ankles collapse came on too strong. Non uniform day every day of my life, you’re worth staying alive for, Alice band across growing curls, future in an hour glass, grains of sand swish through meshed fingers in your hold.
Decadent malevolent precedent surrendered under my might, flickering bows in the shadows went my kite, flying to the moon on a full sky of nebulous mirrors. Your ashes scatter into the wind, how will I put you back together again, damaging lashes I run up and down valleys and hills, catching every will emptying the refilled urn into my heart, so when I die and my soul departs, god will look upon us facing the qiblah and you will be created from my ebbing beat as I was from your fractured rib, and we would be as we are under a singular crescent star.
I freely rotate sitting on my spinning top, you screen me under a microscope, I see you in the scene before me. The ventricular bleeds across your lips, muscle against the face of your skin, veins burst into your beard, it is as I feared, lights dim and it’s still unclear, djinn growling into eyeballs, tumbling down waterfalls, working your tongue and jaw, salivating for more, chew until I’m blind, gag me until I die, be cruel to be kind, I don’t mind, rip my soul from my body, trap it in an eternity, as long as I’m with you.