Make-Believe

If I could hold your hand, I would, and I’d never let it go
Whether we were strolling in the park or playing in the snow
Beyond forever it feels like my love will go on
Finding it hard to believe you’ve really gone
Sanity won’t let me think of you in another life
While I am left alone and abandoned as the widowed wife
I wish you could take my breath away to give life to yours
And I’m thinking this as my head hits the floor

…I feel snug and warm in your soft embrace
Whispering that you love me, gently kissing my face
My head lies against the ground and you’re stroking my hair
You were always there

…I wake up slowly, and I can see your smiling eyes
Nobody really dies
You’re holding me tight and close like I am your world
So in your arms, I stay and I curl
‘I’m not leaving you’ my thoughts say ‘this time I’m not going to leave’
Hearing your heartbeat again, hearing you breathe

…Suddenly we’re outside under the starlit sky, it’s midnight blue
Thinking the night is young and nothing is cruel
And then we’re on a mountain, and then we’re in a stream
Memories are kept forever and I quietly just dream
I have you here with me

– and it’s true –

I feel there’s something wrong but I push it towards the depths of my mind
And I hear your voice, so beautiful and kind
And I just lie in your arms because it feels so perfect and right
A warm summer day, a warm winter night
I’m not letting you go because you are mine
You are my moon, I am your sunshine

…My wish on the shooting star came true and poured the magic back

…And then again I collapse

…I try to speak to you but you place your fingers on my lips
And now I’m scared because I feel I’m losing your grip
I look at your face and I see tears forming and I’m wondering why
I can see a sadness and hurt in your eyes?
I don’t have time to ask because the sun sets with angry purples and reds
And a haunting memory faraway reminds me of a life torn to shreds
And my eyes find the sky tumbling and falling down on us
And then I realise that I’m alone with the dust
And I cry. I’m scared. You’ve left me again

– and then –

I wake up to find my pillow is wet
With my tears and hurt and sorrow and regret
You felt so real again, but you were just my dream,
Everlasting, forever, eternally, I want you to keep
But I feel nothing except for the pain and the grief
Wanting to obliterate the gulf of guilt
And in my arms where you were, I’m holding nothing but my quilt.

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