The longest seven days of my life
Ended with a delivery report at 11:30am.
Sleepwalking through the mundane,
The routine hourglass slipping away,
And an edginess that doesn’t match.
Aching for the tenderness,
Your smiling voice on the phone.
Instead secrets spilled out, warning me about
Razor blades breathing on your chest.
It suffocates my every delicate pore,
Poisons my eyes and stings them
With tears of black ink scarring
My cheeks, my heart, for only me to see,
Stripping my soul bare and broken
Wrenching away what I never had,
For what could never even be.
Anger submits to a liquid lunch,
Subsiding to tears in the car park alone.
Voice of clarity and reason transmits
Across miles of urban sandstone.
Winding lanes and blind turns
Sitar playing in the wind,
Your playfulness gives me heartburn,
Your smile awakens my trapped self
And your hand in my hand
Is soothing, too lost in you
To find my way out. Close your eyes,
I’m whispering and it’s two days ago
About, tell me what you see:
An image of your holding me
Arms draped and enveloping –
Suddenly, your heartbeat stops
Echoes in the door handle:
Private conversation now robotic accusation;
Time to lock off and leave – but I stay.
Head of thunder drives insanity closer
Facing twisted truths again,
Unravelling complacent madness,
Elemental carelessness permeating
A chaos of tempers and bruises
Exhausted and shattered and dying,
I am the fool that loses;
Every night and every day,
Didn’t know until it was too late.
Won’t you please just take me away?
I’ve never understood why it was you,
Who was always missing;
But as always and forever,
The mistake was mine to make.